sans.

word of the day: sans \ˈsanz\ without

I left my house this morning sans socks.

Sans socks, people.

I particularly enjoy the word sans and try to replace it for 'without' whenever possible.

I'll have that latte sans whipped cream.

Please turn in your papers sans errors.

During worktime, my classroom is sans sound (it's actually not).

Perhaps most frequently I have been sans ideas for blog posts.

Actually, that's not entirely correct. I think the problem has been that I have too much to say and am unable to figure out how to say it. I suppose you could say that I'm sans focus.

Do you ever have a strong feeling that God is trying to teach you something? Lately everything I read, listen to, and/or discuss contains very similar themes. It's like God has me on the cusp of something and I'm not quite sure yet where he's taking me. So, because I'm sans focus, the thoughts keep spinning around in my head and all I can do is pray they soon fit into an order.

Which I know they will.

Another thing I know is that God wants me to live sans distraction which is a discipline I don't practice very consistently. It's hard to abide with God when I'm Facebook stalking while watching television. It's hard to listen when there's constant noise. In fact, when I think about it, it's hard to listen when there isn't noise because I'm not used to the silence.

Sans distraction doesn't come as easily as sans socks.

But it does come with greater rewards. And I'll take that any day.

On a semi-related note, I stumbled across this video (click here) the other day while trying to figure out whatever it is that God wants me to know. Can you tell there will be more on the subject?

If you want your thinking to be challenged, take two minutes and watch it. Then let me know what you think, because I'm still trying to process what the implications are in my own life.

And, try to incorporate the word 'sans' into your vocabulary at least once this week. You'll be sans disappointment.

ado.

word of the day: ado; heighten fuss or concern--to do

...and there live we as merry as the day is long.
-William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

I love a good to-do list. Actually, I'm not sure if it's the to-do list itself or the act of checking things off my to-do list that I find more satisfaction in. Either way, when you combine the list with my love of post-it notes, you've got one very happy, slightly anal-retentive girl on your hands.

This, for example, is the to-do list I made right before I left school yesterday:

When you're a teacher, things are constantly being added to the to-do list. In fact, I have taken to carrying around post-it notes with me because if I rely on memory alone, something is bound to be forgotten. I made this particular to-list in anticipation of the possibility of a snow day today.

Possibility turned reality thanks to the Blizzard of '11. And by blizzard, I mean that when I look outside, not a branch is blowing in the wind.

But I'll take it, because here it is nearing 11:00 a.m. and I'm still sitting on the couch sipping tepid coffee with my feet wrapped in a blanket.

I made a new to-do list this morning when I woke up.

First order of business?

Jake was home with me until 10 this morning, and his snow day request was some coffee cake. Why not add it to the lazy morning list?
Check. While the smell of cinnamon and butterscotch pudding permeated from my oven, I situated myself on the couch for one of my favorite things to do with a cup of coffee in hand.
That takes me until now. The house is quiet and Ginny is on her perch by the window. The television is off and I think it's going to stay that way for the remainder of the day. The snow is a smooth blanket on the ground outside and I am content to laze about the day from the warmth of my house inside.

It is all much ado about nothing and I am merry as the day is long. Except for that one piece of the to-do list that will nag me all day long...

It can wait... :)

hula-hoop.

word of the day: hula-hoop: a plastic toy hoop that is twirled around the body

I bought a hula-hoop today. I have this new theory that if I hula-hoop for 15 minutes every day I'll get a good core workout whilst multitasking and watching tv at the same time. I'm all about multitasking these days.

If you want a symbolic twist on the matter, consider the hula-hoop my current train of thought. It's cyclical. It goes around and around, stops periodically, and has no clear end. Such is the nature of this post.

Ginny got groomed last week.

I was convinced that the experience was going to traumatize her, but luckily there seems to be no lasting damage to her psyche. Unfortunately her eyes are now wide open, which means she blinks every time a camera flashes.

I won a super fabulous gift bag from Barnes & Noble last week. I entered my name in a drawing while we were killing some time waiting for Ginny's groom session to be over. The bag was worth it in and of itself, but it was filled with posters, stickers, books, pencils, and other wonderful things that teachers ogle over.

Can you see the joy radiating from my face? I was pretty excited about the loot.

In other news, I read 8 chapters of a book last week, rediscovered my love of vanilla lattes, and have addicted myself to the show 'Lie to Me' with Jake.

If we have a conversation in the near future, you can be sure that I will be reading your face for lies based on your use of manipulators and/or distractors.

I listened to a sermon by Shane Hipps last week on the Mars Hill Church podcast. Hipps started by referencing a preposition and anytime a pastor or speaker references a grammatical and/or English related term, I'm basically hooked.

The preposition he was referring to came in the phrase 'with God'. He spoke about how so often we replace the preposition 'with' with words like 'for' and 'under'. The truth of the matter, though, is that we are called to live life with God.

with.

He struck me most, though, when he spoke about prayer.

It's generally hard for me to wrap my mind around the concept of prayer. Like, what do I have to say that God doesn't already know? Or if God already has this situation figured out, what does my input have to do with anything? God proves time and time again to know the path much better than I do, so sometimes my two cents worth seems futile.

Shane Hipps gave me a new perspective though. He says that prayer is less about accomplishing anything and more about abiding in the presence of God.

It's more about operating in a state with God. And I like that picture better.

I also like this picture. You're lookin' at the rest of my evening.

why.

word of the day: why \ˈhwī, ˈwī\ for what cause reason or purpose

I should really be in bed. Really.

However, this blog sits here practically unwritten on and I feel especially compelled tonight to at least put something down on paper (so to speak). So, here goes.

It's far too easy to get bogged down when you live the life of a teacher (if you want to get straight to the point). There's always something to do. Always a post-it note of to-dos or a deadline creeping up on you. Always an email to respond to or a report to print out. Always a worksheet that needs printed three days in advance or a lesson that needs tweaked. There's always a lesson that needs tweaked.

It's easy to ask yourself, "Why?" when you're a teacher.

Why did I willingly enter into a profession that requires so much of me? That sucks my energy dry at times. That causes me to lose sleep at night. Why did I choose a profession that I inevitably bring home with me every night because I don't know where the minimize button is?

The point of this post, though, is not the question, but rather the answer.

On Monday and Tuesday, my kids recited poetry. Each student chose a poem, analyzed it, and stood in front of the class with a spotlight blinding them while they recited it for us. About 15 of my students memorized their poems and totally rocked the whole experience.

On Tuesday night, I watched a handful of my kids perform in a show choir concert and I about fell off my chair I was so darn proud of those kids.

I came home from the concert and bragged to Jake about how wonderfully talented all my students are. That's when it hit me. This is why.

I get to watch kids grow into their skin everyday. I get to navigate them through new learning and new ideas. I get to watch them succeed, struggle, learn, and grow all because of the profession I chose.

And that freakin' rocks.

I suppose that as an English teacher I should probably be able to conjure up a better adjective than 'Freakin', but there isn't a better adjective to prove the point.

I have this sign that hangs above the filing cabinets in my classroom. It looks like an eye chart, but upon further observation, it repeats the phrase "Do what you love" over and over again.
Sometimes I forget momentarily the answer to the question "Why?" Then answer walks into my room in the form of iPods and Air Jordans. The answer stays after school for help and brings cakes in to share with their classmates. The answer walks in packs and brings a smile to my face on a daily basis. I do what I love because of those kids and I hope that's something I never lose sight of.

chalkboard dream.

word of the day: chalkboard dream \ˈchȯk-ˌbȯrd\ \ˈdrēm\

Ok, ok. So today's word isn't technically in the dictionary. The original word of the day was 'resolution', but I think by the end you'll agree that 'chalkboard dream' is way better. Trust me.

I was in Caribou Coffee today.

We have this really great Caribou sandwiched between Des Moines University and Drake University. It's big and always full of people studying. It sort of takes me back to my own college days in an 'Over the Rhine soundtrack' kind of way.

Anyways, as I was waiting by the door for my friend to catch up, I suddenly found myself face to face with a giant chalkboard wall.

I love a good chalkboard wall, so I was immediately intrigued. As I looked more closely, I started reading things like:

'Write a book'
'Climb the Grand Tetons'
'Start a family'
'Finish my first year of teaching well'
'Move somewhere warm'
'Travel one month out of the year for the rest of my life'
'Live Healthier'
'Marry Andy'

What I hadn't noticed right off the bat were the words 'Dream Board' smack in the middle of the wall. I was staring at a wall of New Year's resolutions and immediately started feeling pressure to add my own to the mix.

Now, you should know that I'm not generally one for resolutions. In fact, I'm not sure I have ever even made one in my whole life. But with that empty space of chalkboard staring me in the face, I couldn't resist.

I stood there for a second. How could I sum up all that I wanted for 2011? What one dream would encompass what I want my life to look like in the upcoming year?

The answer came to me very simply.

'Love more faithfully'

The only real goal I have for myself in the upcoming year is to love better. To love God better. To love His Word better. To love Jake better. To love my family better. To love people better. To love the nations better.

To love unselfishly, joyfully, generously, and largely.

In that moment with the chalk in my hand, it all made perfect, simple sense. Life isn't about me. It's not about how many pounds I can lose or how many days I spend in the gym. It's not about my life being organized or my desire to eat healthier. It's not even about how I finish the year at school or whether or not I climb the highest hill in Iowa.

It's about me being loved. It's about me loving others.

That's it. That's my 2011 chalkboard dream.

*I did NOT draw the sun next to mine. The person who wants to live in Florida did.

identity.

word of the day: identity \ī-ˈden-tə-tē\ the distinguishing character or personality of an individual

I had every intention of writing a new post every day of break. Then these happened:

Instead of writing a blog post every day, I have instead been writing things like, "be more specific", "needs clearer commentary", and "where is your transition?". Occasionally I get to write, "this was refreshing!", "excellent job!", or "hang this one on the fridge!". Breaks become necessary when I find myself writing "huh?" and "this is confusing" more often than I would like.

But, the essays are out of sight and out of mind for the time being. Now it's just me, Ginny, and the random thoughts spinning around in my head. Try to stay with me.

The other day I found myself thinking about things like perfume, Howie Day, and the way I write my "o's". They were all very separate thoughts, and then somehow I think they sort of connected. Let's see if I can make this work (without being too long winded of course).

I found a bottle of Gap Dream lotion at my parents' house last week. I smelled it and was immediately transported back to middle school.
I'm sure I lathered on the dream before my eighth grade formal (see above left). The more you put on, the longer it lasts, right?

The flashback smell got me thinking about all the other significant smells I can remember. For instance, 'Love Spell' will forever remind me of my friend Kara and the time she spilled a bottle all over a bunk at our 9th grade spiritual emphasis retreat. 'Happy' takes me back to high school prom, 'Romantic Wish' reminds me of dates with Jake, and 'Angel Whispers' makes me feel like I have to go to work. My smells have changed with time.

I used to go through song phases in college. For a period of time, my musical tastes centered around a single song and I would listen to that one song until I couldn't stand it any longer. It all started with 'Swing Swing' by the All-American Rejects. From there it was 'Somebody Like You' by Keith Urban, 'Collide' by Howie Day, and 'Hope' by Alli Rogers.

Whenever I hear one of those songs, a very vivid mental picture pops into my mind. 'Somebody Like You' takes me back to football season, 'Collide' puts me back on the Minnesota Road Trip 'O Fun, and 'Hope' places me on my bunk agonizing over my then-crush on Jake.
The above is college Jake in the prime of my secret crush on him. But that's a story for another day.

I like to change my handwriting. In college, I got fancy with my g's:
Most recently, I changed my o's (see above) and added more of a cursive touch to my writing.

A few weeks ago I got tired of the way I write my 4's, so I decided to change them, too.

Apparently your handwriting says a lot about you.

According to this test, I have a strong need for contact, am rational and conservative, and am not very original.

But if that's what my handwriting says about my personality, what does it mean if I change the way I write my 'g's'? Does it altar who I am? Does it change my identity?

I have been surprising myself this week. It's almost like I'm living an out of body experience. It's me, but it's not me. My thoughts and actions aren't necessarily reflective of who I really am.

But this week, that's a good thing.

So what does that mean? Can I just change my personality? Can I just decide one day that I want to think a different way? Or worry less? Or be more thankful?

Maybe, with some effort. But, what does that say about my identity? If I'm constantly changing aspects of my personality, how can I ever know who I really am?

Apparently changing my handwriting doesn't really altar my personality. Apparently, the people who make a living out of analyzing handwriting can tell it's you even if you change your letters. Like, something about your writing stays the same even if you tweak it.

Such is the same about life, I suppose. I can tweak my personality and surprise myself with the way I respond to certain situations. I can change my perfume, song choice, and even the slant of my letters, but at the root of it all, there is something inherent about me that won't change.

At the root of it all is my identity in Christ.

And, at this point, the thought process stops there.

break.

word of the day: break ˈ\brāk\ an interruption in continuity

Break suits me. I know some people who go crazy with nothing to do on any given day. Me? I am not one of those people. Sunday now marks my 4th full day of winter break and glorious it has been.

It's glorious because I keep forgetting what day it is. The other night I asked Jake if he wanted to watch Saturday Night Live. We turned the television on only to remember that it was Thursday.

It is glorious because so far I have woken up AFTER the sun every morning. Take that sun. You don't get to laugh at my sleepy eyes for another week.

Glorious is when you watch an entire season of Parks and Recreation in three days. I suppose a more impressive feat would have been one day, but Jake and I were pretty pleased with our accomplishment.

It has been glorious to put the hustle and bustle on hold to sit on my couch enjoying my husband. I didn't leave his side for three straight days, and boy, I needed that.

It is no secret that I am a quality time person. In fact, I once freaked Jake out in college by calculating and complaining about the exact amount of minutes we had seen each other one week. And by exact, I mean that the magic number was 52. I'm not sure how I arrived at that number, but apparently I came off a little high strung...

I am totally freaked out by medical school because I know the quality time I get to spend with Jake will be drastically less and I am a wreck during the times he leaves me because I miss him so dang much.
But through it all I am learning, and again (thanks to Jake) am forcing myself to look at the big picture.

Time doesn't define our relationship and if anything, the lack of it reminds me to appreciate him more.

But I don't feel like dwelling on that for too long. Break isn't for dwelling on any one thing too long. At least not today.

On a totally unrelated and much more superficial note, Christmas was also glorious.

Ginny rocked out her Christmas sweater, of course.

And, thanks to my mom, enjoyed the goodies in her stocking.

Again, don't judge me. It's break, people.