high fidelity.

word of the day: high fidelity \ˈhī - fə-ˈde-lə-tē, fī-\ the reproduction of an effect (as sound or an image) that is very faithful to the original

I never saw the movie High Fidelity. In fact, I don't even know what it's about. The only thing I know about it is that John Cusack is the main character. Every time I think about the movie, I think about my friend, Kelly, because she hates John Cusack. She wouldn't even watch Serendipity with us in college because of her disdain. Well, that and the fact that it was a totally lame movie.

The picture to your left is Kelly watching a movie before Holli's wedding. It seemed appropriate.

This post isn't about the movie High Fidelity, though. It's mostly about faithfulness.

I've been thinking a lot about faithfulness ever since Jake was accepted into medical school. Upon hearing the news, people's responses usually went something like, "Praise God!", "That's an answer to prayer!", or "God is faithful!". All of the above are true and we definitely felt the answered prayers, but something just made me keep dwelling on the word.

It was a word that got stuck in my head. And usually when a word gets buried in my head there's a lesson to be dug out. But you know that by now.

I suppose it made me wonder what people would have said if Jake had been rejected. I doubt the responses would have been filled with such resounding joy, but does that mean it would have made God any less faithful?

Like I say to my students: Do I really have to answer that?

God's faithfulness isn't contingent upon the outcome of the situation. God's faithfulness is present in everything. It is abundant in the "good" and in the "bad". I thank God for the fact that Jake was denied acceptance last year. I needed him around this year.

If you're someone who proclaimed God's faithfulness when Jake was accepted, then don't get me wrong, I agree with you. I'm thankful for the excitement and joy you directed toward us. I just can't help but think that I only acknowledge God's faithfulness when I feel as though everything is falling into place. It's easy to see His faithfulness when our prayers are answered in the ways we hope.

I went back to Hosea today. God continues to entice me to the desert and He continues to whisper truth to me while I'm there.

I will betroth you to me forever;

Yes I will betroth you to me in righteousness and justice,

In lovingkindness and in compassion,

And I will betroth you to me in faithfulness.

Then you will know the LORD.

-Hosea 2:19-20

God is faithful. It is not just a character trait. It is simply part of His nature - His character. He epitomizes the word itself.

The chapter of my devotional tonight was "the faithful heart" and as I began, I was excited to be reminded of God's faithfulness. I wanted to focus on how much He loves me and how He continues to draw me to Himself.

[insert buzzer sound] wrong.

Well, I mean, I did read about that.

But more than anything, I was reminded that I can't just stop at the part where I revel in God's faithfulness. I have to give it back. I have to surrender myself and all that I cling to outside of Him.

I was reminded tonight about the reciprocal nature of faith. I can talk until I'm blue in the face about how faithful God is. I've experienced it. I've felt it. But what good is God's faithfulness in my life if I don't offer it straight back?

In The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, Hannah Whitall Smith says,

"He has given you all, and He asks for all in return. The slightest reserve will grieve Him to the heart. He spared not Himself, and how can you spare yourself? For your sake He poured out in a lavish abandonment all that He had, and for His sake you must pour out all that you have, with-out stint or measure. Oh, be generous in your self-surrender!"

My reserve grieves God.

And yet, He continues to call me into the desert.

High fidelity. Apparently, a high fidelity system recreates sound. And the sound that it plays back is almost identical to the original. In fact, were you to cover your eyes and play back the recording, you would not be able to determine the difference between the playback and the original. It's that real. It's that perfectly representative of the original recording.

Oh to have a high fidelity faith. Oh to serve with the same reckless abandon as God. Oh to act as a perfect recording of the example He sets for me. I am reminded today of my need to strive for such faithfulness. I am reminded today of how often I don't.

Upon further investigation, High Fidelity the movie is about a guy and a bunch of breakups. If you were to ask Kelly, she wouldn't blame all the girls. I mean, it is John Cusack after all.

I often think about my life as a story. If my story were titled High Fidelity, I'd like to think that it would hold a much different meaning. And a different actor. Because, frankly, I'm with Kelly on that one.

"High Fidelity (2000) - IMDb." The Internet Movie Database (IMDb). Web. 30 Oct. 2010. .

Martin, Catherine. "The Faithful Heart." A Heart That Dances: Satisfy Your Desire for Intimacy with God. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2003. Print.

Strickland, Jonathan. "HowStuffWorks "High Fidelity"" Howstuffworks "Electronics" Web. 30 Oct. 2010. .