As a child, I was terrified of anything in costume. To be frank, I was terrified of most things, but people in large cartoonish outfits with painted on grins were towards the top of the chart. My first grade birthday party was at Chuck E. Cheese's--I'm not sure whose idea that was. Somehow Chuck himself managed to take a picture with me, but if my memory serves me correctly I didn't go into that one without a fight.
Herky the Hawk also plays a prominent role in my memory. I can remember my mom holding me up to his mouth so I could see the person's face on the inside; I can't remember if that helped or harmed her case. I seem to have overcome my fear in the picture below; however, it's also possible that my mom pulled my thumb out of my mouth, stepped back, and snapped a picture before I knew what was happening.
Mascots are just imposters aren't they? People who assume the false identities for the purpose of deception? Deception in this case, I suppose, with a different connotation than is generally assumed.
I've been thinking a lot about imposters lately as it is an entire chapter of the book, Abba's Child, by Brennan Manning.** In chapter two, Manning argues that an imposter, or a false self, lives within each one of us. It "plays its deceptive role, ostensibly protecting us--but doing so in a way that is programmed to keep us fearful of being abandoned, losing support, not being able to cope on our own, not being able to be alone" (30).
"Imposters are preoccupied with acceptance and approval" (30).
"It is the nature of the false self to save us from knowing the truth about our real selves, from penetrating the deeper causes of our unhappiness, from seeing ourselves as we really are--vulnerable, afraid, terrified, and unable to let our real selves emerge" (37).
He goes on to say that the false self "must be called out of hiding, accepted, and embraced [as] he is an integral part of my total self. Whatever is denied cannot be healed. To acknowledge humbly that I often inhabit an unreal world, that I have trivialized my relationship with God, and that I am driven by vain ambition is the first blow in dismantling my glittering image" (40).
Embrace the false self? I love that he goes on to say that "as we come to grips with our own selfishness and stupidity, we make friends with the imposter and accept that we are impoverished and broken and realize that, if we were not, we would be God" (41).
Friends with the imposter. As someone who thinks often about identity and also has an insatiable desire to be perfect in everything I do, this concept really resonates with me. The imposter within me (I'm still thinking through what facade my false self assumes) isn't something to be fixed or to cause a sense of self-loathing. It's something to remind me of my need for God. It's a reminder of brokenness and vulnerability and the fact that apart from God, I am nothing.
You take that Herky costume off and walk down the street, and you're a person just like everyone else. Herky has the ability to conceal any number of personal downfalls. Without the costume though, you're left to deal with exactly who you are, and I'm realizing that that's the beauty of it all.
**If you haven't read anything by Brennan Manning, you're really missing out. He is one of the most authentic writers I have ever read.
Manning, Brennan. "Chapter Two." Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2002. 29-45. Print.
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