substitute.

word of the day: substitute \ˈsəb-stə-ˌtüt, -ˌtyüt\ a person or thing that takes the place or function of another

I wasn't cut out to be a substitute teacher. It doesn't align very well with my Type A personality. I don't particularly enjoy waking up in the morning unsure of whether or not I'll be working, and I have encountered enough vague lesson plans to last me a lifetime.

Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of experiences to be thankful for this past year. I got the chance to work with some really wonderful people and I made plenty of mental notes about things to implement in my own classroom.

That doesn't change the fact that I wasn't cut out to be a substitute teacher, though.

Today I was reminded of the definition of substitute: "a person or thing that takes the place or function of another."

I wasn't made to be a substitute teacher, and for some reason, this past year was a substitution for the ultimate goal.

Maybe it was so I could enjoy another obligation-free year of marriage with Jake.

Maybe it was to remind me of my worth in Christ. To show me again that it is not the things I do which define my identity.

Maybe it was to push me out of my comfort zone.

Maybe it was to reaffirm my desire to be a teacher.

Maybe I won't know why I spent this past year as a substitute until I'm forty and have that twenty-twenty hindsight they are always talking about.

Maybe it was so I would learn that I don't always have to have the answer. I don't always have to try to figure out the plan while I'm in it. I just have to trust that in the end, it will all work out - that God has me right where He wants me.

As I look back, I'm thankful that God substituted this year of my career path with subbing. I know that I'll be able to better serve Him with my gifts because of it.

And you can bet that next year, I'll write the best sub notes around.