pity.

word of the day: \ˈpi-tē\  sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy; something to be regretted

 I love a good pity party.  I have never had a problem playing the victim, feeling sorry for myself, or thinking everyone's out to get me.  I can wallow with the best of them and wear the distress on my face like it's a thick layer of foundation.  If Much Ado About Nothing were a Shakespearean tragedy, I would have been the protagonist and pity would have been my tragic flaw. 

 
On that note, this is my new reality:
 

The mirror in my house looks like a scene straight out of Good Will Hunting (thanks for the line, Timmy), and Jake now spends more time at the DMU library that he does in our home.  I find myself talking to Ginny like she's a real human being just to hear words spoken out loud when I'm home alone.  I have redefined my idea of quality time to mean sitting in a cubicle reading next to a very focused first year medical student.  I find myself being unproductive during the school day just so I'll have work to bring home with me at night. 

The other day I caught myself giving Jake the cold shoulder just so he would know that medical school is really hard on me too.  

That [she] is mad, ’tis true. Tis true, ’tis pity,

And pity ’tis ’tis true—a foolish figure,[1]

Boo hoo. The only beneficiary of self-pity is the makers of Kleenex, and let's be honest, my middle school building alone should keep them going for a long time.

Everyone's got something.  I seem to be reminded of that when I'm tempted to succomb to the self-pity.  Everywhere I turn in my life I seem to face someone who's dealing with something that makes their life difficult on a daily basis.  And it's when the hardships loom that I have to believe there is always good to find.

And there is so much good in my life. 

For the first time in our three years of marriage, I see Jake's joy in feeling as though he's exactly where God wants him to be.  He has an energy in his voice when he tries to explain the chart on our mirror that I never heard when he was nailing chair rail to the walls of apartments.  How can I feel sorry for myself when he's finally doing what he's worked so hard to for?

The answer to that question is because self-pity is rooted in selfishness and so often it's easier to be selfish than gracious.

But the good is there, and when I watched Jake walk across the stage in his white coat on Saturday, I was filled with a sense of pride that I have not known until now.  A pride that filled my eyes with tears and reassured me that this change in our lives is good even though it's hard.

I'm a firm believer that if I choose to look for the good, I'll find God's grace.  And in God's grace is peace, encouragement, and joy. 

And really,

How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping! [2]

I don't want to be a tragic hero.  Instead I want to be a believer and receiver of God's goodness on a daily basis.  It's there, and I choose to see it.

[1] Shakespeare, Hamlet
[2] Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

class.

word of the day: class \ˈklas\ high quality

 

My classroom is student ready.  My plan book isn't, but the room itself is ready to welcome new students with class.  Here's a sneak peek (moving clockwise):

DIY dry erase boards on either side of the magnet board.  All you need is a painted frame and scrapbook paper behind the glass.  Thanks Pinterest.com.

The reed diffuser is a must have in my classroom.  I went from Vanilla Cupcake last year to Island Hibiscus this year.  We'll see how it goes over.

I stole this idea from another teacher I know.  Haven't quite decided whether or not I'm going to leave the paper blank.  Thanks for your help, Katelyn!  Couldn't have made this without you!

The answer is: I'm not sure why I put black paper around my white board.  I do know that I like it.

My favorite corner of the room and I managed to take a blurry picture!  There is really a fish in the fishbowl.  His name is Doodle.

My favorite part of the room--Also Pinterest inspired.  Special thanks to Jake and Nate for cutting the boards and to Jake for nailing it all together.  Extra credit if you can tell me what stories all 10 settings belong to without Googling.

Pretty excited that I got to keep my chalkboard.

There you have it. My plan book may be blank at the moment, but my walls are brightly colored.  I hope that counts for something. :-)

blink.

word of the day: blink \ˈbliŋk\ in an instant

I blinked and July was over.  How is it that June went by at a reasonable speed while July seemed to be in a road race with August?  (I can only assume that August will rival July in its passing).  

It's safe to say that July flew by because it was so jam-packed. 

We celebrated Harry Potter (as you well know by now)

We celebrated Jake getting his cast off AND our three year anniversary with an all inclusive trip to Cancun, Mexico.

All smiles and all sun-kissed for the three year pic :)

We even carried the celebrations over into August with marriage of Jake's brother, Jeremy, and his lovely bride, Kelly.

Summer wasn't meant to last forever though. So here I sit with the reality of summer's end staring me in the face: My unfinished syllabus minimized at the bottom of the screen and Jake studiously studying hemoglobinopathies to my right. 

Hello real world.  I hope your vacation was nice.  Make yourself at home and hit us with everything you've got. We're ready.  

three.

word of the day: three \ˈthrē\ the third in a set or series

I wrote a really long anniversary post yesterday but didn't quite get around to finishing.  I went the deep route, per usual, and couldn't bring myself to type up the last few paragraphs today.  Maybe I'll get around to it next week...

In the meantime, I'm feeling nostalgic.  And so, this anniversary post is fairly wordless.  

Three cheers for three years of marriage!  Tune in next week for a more comprehensive reflection. 

success.

word of the day: success \sək-ˈses\ favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence

It has now been a full 24 hours since I have seen a Harry Potter movie.  I haven't been able to say that since last Wednesday.  

Success.

That's right.  Eight Harry Potter movies in four days.  In addition, somehow I managed to reread the last ten chapters of The Deathly Hallows on Sunday alone.  Luck was on my side though because without those two overtimes and my basic indifference to soccer, I don't think it would have been possible.  

I took a few things away from the weekend.  For instance, Butterbeer is pretty tasty, albeit a little rich for more than one glass at a time. I think it was the cream soda.  Or the butterscotch.  Or possibly the combination of the two... 

Ginny doesn't mind scarves.

But, she's not so thrilled when you throw a pair of pipe cleaner glasses in the mix.

However, it makes for a fun picture.

Licorice wands...

...are more fun to play with than to eat or make I think.

Oh and everything's always better when there are really great people involved.

All-in-all, it was a successful weekend.  And, due to my lack of sleep from the festivities and thought-provoking discussions, that's all I've got for tonight. 

book.

word of the day: book \ˈbuk\ 

noun: a long written or printed literary composition 

verb: to schedule engagements for; to set aside time for

I found the following quote the other day on Pinterest (my latest obsession and time sucker):

I get absolutely and undeniably attached to book characters to the point where I cry and laugh with them, and physically miss them when I finish reading the book.

 Have you ever felt that way at the conclusion of a book?  I'm terribly sorry if you haven't.  I finished The Help by Kathryn Stockett today and stared at the last page feeling sad that Aibileen, Skeeter, and Minny were now out of my life.  They had become so real, and I almost didn't want to believe that they weren't.  Their story in its simplest form reminded me to be kind.  At a deeper level, it provoked thought about people in general in a way that I'm still muddling through.  In any case, I really do literally miss those three fictional women.   My only consolation is that we'll meet again when the movie comes out in August.  

If you haven't read the book: read it.  

It's wonderful and disturbing and riveting and beautiful.  

There's only one other book in my library of read books that has elicited a similar response: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling.  She even gave me a "19 years later" epilogue, but I still found myself at a loss knowing that I would no longer get to take part in Harry, Ron, and Hermione's adventures.  Instead, I had to settle for knowing that they all settled down to live ordinary lives.  I am presently feeling that similar sense of disappointment because, as you may know, the final movie hits theaters on Friday.  For the last time, I will journey the big screen with those whom I both cried and laughed with throughout the book series.  

Of course we're going out with a bang.  It should really be a well known fact by now  that I love any chance I get to make much ado about nothing (or something pretty awesome in this case).

 The weekend is booked.  Nate is here (obviously).  The menu is set and we will be consuming butterbeer, treacle tarts, cauldron cakes, and licorice wands in mass quantities.  Oh, and we'll be watching a lot of movies.

 

The times have since changed, but the goal still stands: Seven Harry Potter movies plus the premiere of the newest in 4 days (we added Thursday night in case you're doing the math).  

Maybe I feel like I owe it to the characters for letting me take part in their journey for so long.  Maybe I'm just a big nerd.  Either way, hold your hippogriffs everyone, this weekend has all the fixin's for something pretty great. 

off-kilter.

word of the day: off-kilter \-ˈkil-tər\ not in perfect balance; a bit askew

The other day I looked in the mirror and felt like my eyebrows were following two different planes on my face.  One seemed noticeably higher than the other which was a troubling sight.  Tweezers in hand, I did my best to fix the imbalance although I got bored and probably stopped a little too soon.  You see, I hate plucking my eyebrows almost as much as I hate ironing.  I just don't do the latter, but unfortunately that's not an option with the former (I mean I guess it is, but let's not get into that).

You know how when you feel like something is wrong with your face it affects the rest of your day?  Like if your hair isn't just the way you want it or you have some sort of blemish on your face? Well, my askew eyebrows made my day off-kilter.  I was aware of the imbalance.  

Interestingly enough it was an eyebrows-on-two-different-levels kind of week last week in a way that had nothing to do with my face and everything to do with my heart.

I was reminded that God is the only one who can satisfy me.  Everything else in this world will let me down at some time or another--and trusting in those worldly things makes it all the more painful when they fall short.  There is so much good in my life; even if I lived a life without God, I would have much to find joy in.  So, I realized that it is my tendency to pull joy from the good things in my life and set my faith in the closest relationships to me.   But what I realize now is that God is the one who makes all things good. When my faith rests solely in Him, the relationships around me are made better.  But, when my joy comes from things outside of God, even things that in essence are still good and from Him, everything cracks and crumbles at some point.  It isn't as it should be without Him as the focal point.  It's askew.  It's off-kilter.

Jake's still pretty off-kilter.  But, as you would expect, he's not letting that stop him.  

He lit off black cats on the Fourth and then managed to hop away before they exploded.  Flinkmans love explosions--It didn't take long for him to leave his lawn chair in the garage.

Most recently he floated around the pool which was a nice change from the couch he's usually stationed on.  The cast stayed dry which is something I'm sure his doctor would like to know.  :-)

We love to spend holidays with family and were glad that injury didn't keep us home for the Fourth.  I managed to marry into a pretty great set of in-laws and I only wish we got to see them more frequently.  

In other news, Jake and I have watched 8 movies in the last 9 days.  I was a fan of 127 Hours (although I shielded my eyes for much of it), The King's Speech, and It's Kind of a Funny Story.  I felt fairly indifferent about Just Go With It, All Good Things, and Kill the Irishman.  And, I could have done without Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.  Sorry Quentin Tarantino. 

At this rate, I think we might watch all the movies in the Red Box.  Including Justin Bieber: Never Say Never.  IF I can convince Jake to watch it with me.  Jury's still out on that one.

When I look at your heavens, the work 

of your fingers,

the moon and the stars, which you

have set in place,

what [am I] that you are mindful of [me]?

and the son of man that you care for

him?

Yet you have made [me] a little lower

than the heavenly beings

and crowned [me] with glory and honor.

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the 

earth!

-Psalm 8:3-5&9 (emphasis mine)