grace.

word of the day: grace \ˈgrās\: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification

I don't get it. Grace I mean. It's one of those concepts I just can't wrap my mind around. Kind of like when people wear flip-flops in December and then complain about being cold. I don't get that either.

Have you ever read through the Old Testament? I'm in 1 Samuel right now and those Israelites were a bunch of idiots most of the time. They would sin against God, repent, and then God would forgive them. Then they would go back to their sin, cry out to God, and God would forgive them again. Things would be fine for awhile until they turned back to their sin, repented, and God forgave them again. Do you see the pattern?

I was thinking today about the pain this must have caused God. His heart was broken time after time after time, and yet His grace was given time after time after time.

I don't get grace because I am very easily wounded.

Because I am so easily wounded, it is often hard for me to forgive.

I can feel the pain of heartbreak or unfaithfulness, and yet most of the time I don't understand how to love or forgive the source of that pain.

It is in those moments that I feel like I can understand God just an ounce better. I understand the pain that comes along with watching people continue to turn their backs on the truth. But then, at that moment, I am unable to offer grace because of my own pain and stubbornness.

And in that moment, the unmerited grace of God becomes all the more beautiful.

God knows the heartbreak of unfaithfulness. He knows pain and feels the stab of His children turning their backs on His love.

And yet, He continues to love.

And He continues to urge me to love others and offer grace with more of myself.

I think Paul understood grace pretty well. And today, He wrote these words just for me:

But he [God] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 1 Corinthians 12:9-10

God doesn't use my own weakness to beat me down. Instead, He uses it to display His own power and increasing love.

And so, I turn my weakness over to God and trust that He will teach me to love people better. Even those crazy winter-flip-flop-wearers.